Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh!t.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're
saying.

Ahhhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Any connections between your reality and mine are purely
coincidental.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you really marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is finally done.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Aren't you a black hole of need.

I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

If you have something to say raise your hand, and place it over
your mouth.

I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?

Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.

Your not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight off.

You really are as pretty as a picture, I'd like to hang you.

Don't believe everything you think.

Ssshh, . that's the sound of no one caring